Getting To Know Your Colleagues
You might wonder how you can meet these people. If the company is a large employer in the general area in which you reside, you probably already know someone working there. Ask around. If one of your friends or acquaintances isn't employed there, most likely they know someone themselves. Otherwise, night school classes and community activities provide good arenas for meeting people who work for the employers that you're interested in. With a little bit of research, it's possible to find out about how colleagues in that company work and "play" together.
The biggest problems may arise when you're already in a job, as you gradually find your socialization goals greatly differ from those of your fellow engineers. This actually won't be a problem unless it affects your job satisfaction or your perceived performance.
Is it possible to attain success in a job under these circumstances? Yes, but it takes some work on your part. You can do so by being upfront about your after-hours commitments with your colleagues. That way you will keep up-to-date on decisions or technical plans made after hours, and you can maintain your working relationships with your fellow engineers. You may even grow into a new role, becoming the sounding board for ideas that the group developed after hours.
If you're the opposite, and seek to encourage after-hour activities, start modestly and don't try to immediately tie it into work. Consider organizing a weekly or even monthly dinner in which people who enjoy talking to one another are given the opportunity. When I was a college professor, I offered my graduate students just that type of gathering. Those who participated had jobs, families, and school responsibilities, but those who attended then still continue eight years later.
How about organized, company-wide activities? Many companies hold company picnics, lunches, holiday parties, and even dances or daylong outings for employees, and sometimes their families as well. In many instances, the company subsidizes some or all of the cost for these events. Often the parties occur on company time, although some may start on company time and extend into the evening hours.
These are the types of events that you should consider attending, even if you don't participate in informal group or departmental gatherings. Rarely are business or technical topics discussed there, and no penalty is given for arriving late and leaving early. Go and eat the food and watch the people. Consider it as inexpensive entertainment, nothing more or less.
However you do it, recognize that you need similar socialization attitudes to those you work with in order to be happy in your job. Seeking that out and fitting into the type of culture you're most comfortable with is one of the keys to a satisfying job and work environment.